Signs of Healthy & Unhealthy Relationships

From the moment we are born throughout adulthood, we are exposed to a number of relationships, from family, friendships, school, work, and romantic relationships. Among any type of relationship can bring us a healthy, positive experience, adding enrichment, self-worth, personal growth, and enjoyment to our lives. While even healthy relationships can result in a minor disagreements that often lead to frustration, these disagreements also result in compromise and bring communication and understanding in the relationship closer together.

• Feeling secure and content
• Treating each other with respect
• Trusting and having faith in each other
• Feeling it is OK to disagree and talk about your differences
• Not being violent or threatening towards each other
• Communicating openly and freely
• Enjoying the time you spend together
• Feeling secure, even if all the time is not spent together
• Making individual healthy choices about the use of alcohol and drugs
• Making decisions together
• Listening and respecting each others viewpoints and feelings
• Supporting and encouraging the other persons interests
• Maintaining and encouraging other friendships
• Having an interest in the other person’s life, such as family, health, school, work
• If intimate, being honest and open about past sexual activity

• If intimate, communicating and being open about their sexual relationship, needs, and feelings

Unhealthy relationships can make you feel uncomfortable, hurt, and even responsible. In unhealthy relationships, your partner

• Acts jealous or possessive towards you
• Has to be in control
• Has a quick temper
• Manipulates you
• Ignores your feelings
• Blames you for their behavior, anger, and depression
• Says you are too sensitive and you make a "big deal" out of something small
• Is hypersensitive to criticism or perceived criticism
• Has difficulty in identifying their own feelings and communicating them to you
• Refuses or is has difficulty in discussing, negotiating, and compromising with you
• Believes in stereotypical sex roles
• Views the opposite sex as sex objects
• Says things to you that make you feel badly
• Has unrealistic expectations of you or the relationship
• Uses alcohol, drugs, or other mod-altering substances-just to relax
• Pressures you to use alcohol or drugs-to relax
• Pressures you for sex
• Threatens you or others
• Has a past of fighting or anger
• Ridicules, criticizes, or puts you down
• Uses threats or physical force to discourage one from leaving the relationship

These are a few signs of an unhealthy relationship. If you feel that your relationship may have some of these signs, take the Healthy Relationship Quiz.

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Last modified on 09/26/2008 .